My Two Cents

In response to some of the 'looking sideways at Koreans' type stories of the past few days, I thought I would weigh in. I am by no means an expert, but given that South Koreans are by far the majority at our school, I definately have some observations to share. I don't intend to judge or defend so I hope it doesn't sound that way.

Firstly, I've never been quite so overtly 'respected' by any student so much as South Koreans. They bow to you when they address you or when they leave the room. They do not do anything without asking permission, if they hand something to you, they bow and use two hands. This respect however, is totally different to the kind of respect you get from a kid who knows you, has fought with you and knows you'll always give him another chance. It is a respect that they are compelled to express, generally by means of fear. The kids I know are almost without exception afraid of their fathers and will be hit if a teacher calls home to report an incident of disrespect or poor grades. My Korean students don't know me, aren't interested in knowing me, but will respect me because I'm an adult and they have to.

They are also worked like dogs. Most of the Koreans I teach go home from a 7 hour school day and have tutors come for one or two hours in the afternoon and then head off to a night school until about 10pm. Then they stay up until midnight finishing their homework. Then on weekends they might go to another school all day saturday and sometimes also on Sunday. If (as I try often to do) you don't set them homework, the parents will ring up the school and complain that they don't get enough homework. Their university entrance is planned for as early as grade 3.

If you asked them, not one of my students would say that they talk to their parents about problems or feelings. They would certainly never talk to a teacher about such things. I'm not even sure they'd talk to their friends. They will NEVER say they don't understand something in class. I have all but given up saying 'do you understand me?' because all I'll get is a nod of the head. So now I ask them to explain back to me what I've just said. Getting them to speak at all in class is a frustration in itself. In reality they probably understand less than 50% of what is going on in class around them. They are desperate to write down the right answer even if they don't understand what it means.

I can imagine the frustration that must go around in their heads. Here most of the kids are in the same boat, so they are not such anomalies. But I can imagine living in a country like America, seeing all the freedoms enjoyed by the 'other kids', being so very different from those kids, seeing the (apparent) disrespect shown to adults and other authority figures and not understanding it. I feel sorry for these kids in some ways. Academically they are robots, they have very little creativity. Conformity is expected. They do have personalities but it is only after a very long time (when they realise they don't have to bow) that they feel it's OK to express that a little.

It might be OK for the kids that fit into that way of thinking and living. It might be OK for a kid who can handle severe cultural confusion, but I can only guess what it must be like for someone who doesn't fit and doesn't understand. In particular someone who might have a mental illness (no doubt a great shame to the family). Again, I don't mean to judge. Cultural divides are far more complex than we can even begin to imagine.

Anyway, that's what I was thinking...